When he's fluent in attachment theory, but dumps you via text. Plus, why thought-stopping words are toxic, and the best jargon-free emotional education resources.
Loved this thoughtful and nuanced piece, think you’ve summed it up perfectly. Therapy Speak can indeed help with our emotional literacy, but it isn’t there to be used as a shield to protect you from consequences or vulnerability.
So glad I signed up for your newsletters, Francesca! You have a real knack for tuning in on topics that are both relevant and complex. It occurs to me that when we issue these thought-stopping judgements on others we do it from a position of ignorance and subjectivity. I mean even psychiatrists and therapists get things wrong so what makes us think that we have the skills (let alone the right!) to judge others? If they’re dicks I just try and steer clear of them but if I care about someone who is behaving in a dick-like manner then I would try and help them - possibly while still labeling them a dick temporarily 😅. I shall try and be kinder!
That’s so kind of you, Lucy. Thank you. Absolutely agree - a ‘dick like manner’ is a much kind and empathetic way of putting it… while acknowledging our own inner dick 😉 which I also find to be quite calming. It says a lot that practising therapists/psychologists are obliged to have therapy of their own I think - that we’re all constantly trying to keep those dick like tendencies in check!
Thanks Francesca, There is an awful lot to ponder here. I like you feel there is a definite role for Therapy Speak, but not as the norm. It is important to understand the concept behind the ‘Speak’. As someone from the older generation I know how words, particularly in this area, have evolved changed, been discarded, reinvented etc, particularly when they can be misunderstood. That is the reason I love your Alonement, it is so straightforward.
So aptly summarised Jo! Thank you (I feel like I could do with you in my life…!). That’s interesting, to have seen ‘word’ trends over a lifetime (I’m certainly noticing it with 90s clothing trends coming back right now…!). All this is cyclical and it makes it feel calmer and less like ‘what is the world coming to?’ To acknowledge that. That’s very kind about Alonement - thanks, still hoping to get it into popular parlance..!
Loved this thoughtful and nuanced piece, think you’ve summed it up perfectly. Therapy Speak can indeed help with our emotional literacy, but it isn’t there to be used as a shield to protect you from consequences or vulnerability.
Oh thank you Caitlin, that’s lovely. Love that concept of a ‘shield’ (I think YOU’VE summed it up perfectly…!)
So glad I signed up for your newsletters, Francesca! You have a real knack for tuning in on topics that are both relevant and complex. It occurs to me that when we issue these thought-stopping judgements on others we do it from a position of ignorance and subjectivity. I mean even psychiatrists and therapists get things wrong so what makes us think that we have the skills (let alone the right!) to judge others? If they’re dicks I just try and steer clear of them but if I care about someone who is behaving in a dick-like manner then I would try and help them - possibly while still labeling them a dick temporarily 😅. I shall try and be kinder!
That’s so kind of you, Lucy. Thank you. Absolutely agree - a ‘dick like manner’ is a much kind and empathetic way of putting it… while acknowledging our own inner dick 😉 which I also find to be quite calming. It says a lot that practising therapists/psychologists are obliged to have therapy of their own I think - that we’re all constantly trying to keep those dick like tendencies in check!
Thanks Francesca, There is an awful lot to ponder here. I like you feel there is a definite role for Therapy Speak, but not as the norm. It is important to understand the concept behind the ‘Speak’. As someone from the older generation I know how words, particularly in this area, have evolved changed, been discarded, reinvented etc, particularly when they can be misunderstood. That is the reason I love your Alonement, it is so straightforward.
So aptly summarised Jo! Thank you (I feel like I could do with you in my life…!). That’s interesting, to have seen ‘word’ trends over a lifetime (I’m certainly noticing it with 90s clothing trends coming back right now…!). All this is cyclical and it makes it feel calmer and less like ‘what is the world coming to?’ To acknowledge that. That’s very kind about Alonement - thanks, still hoping to get it into popular parlance..!
Thank you for such a lovely comment!