Out of office – plus, some newsletters that aren't mine

This week I'm passing the mic to some of my favourite writers, covering my specialist subject: solitude.

On Monday, nine months into starting this Substack newsletter, I realised something: I need a week off. Due to the combination of being mid podcast season, plus the challenges of an ongoing Top Secret Project, the creative juices have run dry at this stage – which means that, in an unprecedented move, I haven’t written a newsletter essay this week.

The timing of this week-long hiatus is auspicious for a couple of reasons. The first is, well, nine months. A close friend of mine has grown a whole human daughter over almost exactly the same calendar period – although, as I understand it, growing this community has involved far fewer sleepless nights (although, I’ve had my moments), and definitely less morning sickness.

The second coincidence is, as I’ve just calculated, The Shoulds has just hit around 72,000 words (cumulatively, over 36 weekly issues plus a few bonus ones). That’s the length of a novel. A ‘novel’ that wouldn’t be possible without the support of you, my newsletter community (and, actually, thanks to Substack’s reader-funded model, my collective bosses. Thanks, boss!).

However, I don’t want this email to be the digital equivalent of ‘I haven’t done my homework, Miss’. Instead, I’ve decided to use this week’s post to direct you to some of my favourite Substack essays from the past six months or so. Because I needed something beyond ‘my favourites’ to compile this bunch – otherwise, it would be the longest list ever – I’ve put together my favourite writing. around the subject of time alone. Which, as you’ll know, is what my debut book Alonement, and my podcast of the same name is about.

From living alone to digital detoxes, these writers hit the ‘solitude’ theme from all angles. I hope you enjoy reading the below…

But, before I go…

Just a reminder: if you’re not yet a paid member of The Shoulds, and are curious to experience the paid offering (weekly themed newsletters from yours truly, plus curated links and resources), you can upgrade below, if you’re in a position to do so, for £4.17 a month. As a reader-supported publication, paid subscriptions are what fuel this newsletter, giving me the time & creative space to write deep-dive essays during the week on popular topics like Therapy Speak, Gloria Steinem’s lessons on self-esteem, and how to support parent friends if you’re currently child-free.

I also try to gift the odd subscription when I can, for those who’d love to read The Shoulds but can’t make the financial commitment right now for whatever reason – do email me (by responding to this email) if that’s you, and I’ll make it happen.

If you’re already a paying subscriber, or you’re not ready to upgrade right now, it would be a big help if you could share this newsletter with someone you think might enjoy it – I’m a handful away from a milestone subscriber number, and I’d love to celebrate getting there soon.

In the words of Porky Pig, that’s all, folks – until next week, that is. However, before I sign off, I’d like to thank all my subscribers, both free and paid, for your support since last November – it means a lot to hear you’ve connected with my writing, plus the research, curation and editing that goes into The Shoulds.

Francesca

As promised, some brilliant writing on the subject of time alone – from some of the Substack newsletters that I love reading.

• The hardest parts of being alone: Following her divorce at age 31, and unexpectedly facing single parenthood, journalist Rebecca Reid (also – for full disclosure – a friend) launched her brilliant newsletter,

  this is me trying
  . Her most recent newsletter is a balanced few of the trickiest parts of her ongoing life transition, including the impossible task of solo DIY (I hard relate).

• How to be alone (actually alone): An essay from Hermit author Jade Angeles Fitton, written for Emma’s Gannon’s

  The Hyphen by Emma Gannon

• The Joys of Living Alone: A love letter to the experience of solo living; something

  Tiffany Philippou
  (like Rebecca) is facing anew after an unexpected break-up.

• Thinking Through "Time Spent Alone": From

  Culture Study
  , the newsletter of Burnout essayist Anne Helen Petersen. This is a free edition of her regular threads, with fascinating insights from readers on their own relationship with alone time (a conversation I’ve learnt, 85 podcast episodes in, is a big hit with most people…).

• Fall In Love With Being Alone: A joyful practical guide to solo living from

  Leslie Stephens
  , with advice ranging from creating a local community to creating an ‘intentional space’ like a reading nook (I have one of these, and it’s a key part of a recent evenings in ritual – together with sea salt 70% Lindt, a steaming cup of Earl Grey au oat milk and – of course – a good book).